Guest Post: Homo Contradictus - Postmodern Psychological Questions

As you know, The Hankster seldom covers psychology, education, or anything other than grassroots politics and how the media reports on grassroots politics. However, it's all political!

So, back by popular demand, this satirical post by Evan Hanks, one of The Hankster's favorite occasional contributors. I highly recommend visiting his site at OutlawPsych. Additionally, I have asked him to weigh in on the controversy over DSM-5. Hopefully we will hear more from OutlawPsych soon!

Cheers!
NH

Homo Contradictus

Posted on May 30, 2012

 

The proposal before congress to change the taxonomic designation of Homo Sapiens to Homo Contradictus that resulted in a firestorm of controversy three years ago — once again finding our lawmakers deadlocked in indecision — has been reviewed by the Super Committee appointed to resolve it. It, too, has reached a stalemate. The next step in the process will be the selection of a Really Super Committee which will review the procedures employed by the Super Committee to determine the reasons for its failure. It will consist of eight Dimocrats and eight Redoublicans in strict contradistinction to the six appointees from the respective parties comprising the Super Committee.

The proposal was first introduced by Dimocratic senator, Sheeza Throbak, and was originally intended as a personal response to legislation penned by her sister and Redoublican counterpart, I. Emma Throbak, which proposed changing the designation to Homo Digitalis. While the latter raised some eyebrows in their home state, most of the electorate there assumed it referred to the new digital media age. When informed that Digitalis actually designated the opposable digit, or thumb, as the main distinguishing characteristic that separates humans from animals, it was tabled amid the confusion. 

The former, however, rapidly went viral and soon swelled into a national call for action. An overwhelming swarm of petitions generated by internet advocates, Constant and Unremitting Causes, in alliance with Ms.Throbak, prompted the consideration of it by the nation’s decision-makers, though it has since bogged down and stalled in the political process.

I asked Stooges For Democracy spokesperson, Ella Fyno, of the effort to upgrade the scientific classification and make it more reflective of actual human behavior. “I’m undecided.” she stated flatly. “It seems a bit ambiguous, though I will say that I half considered signing the petition myself by the time I’d received the seventeenth e-mail.” She scratched her head. It must be a cheap, generic medicated shampoo she is using, I thought to myself, as I watched the unsightly flakes of deceased epidermis fall onto the shoulders of her Italian wool, custom-tailored black sweater. It looked as if her hair had died as well. I was fascinated with the depth and implications of her response, however, and I ignored her disconcerting hygiene, determined to comb her mind for a more precise and discursive amplification of her widely spaced views.

“Our political system seems to have gone awry.” she observed solemnly, “The ideologies of the two parties have grown so far apart that each seems engaged only in gainsaying the other. What was designed to give dissent and argument a proper hearing, a willingness to compromise in the exercise of our constitutional freedom for the benefit of the greater good of society seems to have been lost.” She considered further and then declared with certainty, “I don’t know whether or not we can maintain any direction at all in the face of such extremes.” I pictured a human head with two faces on it, and I knew intuitively what she was referring to... Read more here...